The daddy fucking my ass hole sex videosGreat Turkey Pardon of 2017 is almost upon us and in preparation the internet is cooking up some exceptionally bad satire and a few of the tastiest turkey name jokes you've ever heard.
On Saturday, the White House's official Snapchat account announced that the two turkeys President Trump is scheduled to traditionally pardon on Tuesday had arrived in D.C. On Monday, the names were revealed: Drumstick and Wishbone.
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The names seem tame for Trump, though they're a bit weird if you consider the fact that the turkeys were named after their own body parts.
Love 'em or hate 'em the internet brainstormed names of their own — ones that Trump might identify with a bit more closely — and feel he may have missed a golden opportunity.
On Saturday, in a horrible attempt at satire, conservative humor site Reagan Was Rightdeclared Trump had named the female bird Obama and the male bird Clinton per a request by his youngest son Barron. Meanwhile on Twitter, others were chiming in with jokes about the birds, suggesting names that centered around names of people Trump would love to pardon IRL, like his son-in-law Jared Kushner who's been caught using a private email address for White House business, for example.
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But no matter the names, these turkeys had better be on their best behavior and remember to profusely thank Trump for the pardon to avoid being publicly shamed on Twitter ... or worse.
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The National Turkey Federation is paying for the two birds to enjoy a luxurious stay at the Willard Intercontinental Hotel, according to The Hill, and after the festivities are over they'll head to Virginia Tech's "Gobbler's Rest" to join last year's birds pardoned by former President Obama.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable 
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Best of luck, guys! We're all rooting for you.
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