When you hear the phrase "pineapple on homemade amateur bareback threesome sex videospizza" people are either drooling in hunger, dancing on a table at 3 a.m., or reaching for a barf bag to throw up their disgust.
The debate over whether to put fruit on your pizza dough is raging again and it's as ugly as a four-day-old slice.
Over the past week, we've learned that when it comes to this particular food mashup, there is no neutral ground. The crazed masses of the internet jumped into the latest round after Iceland president's boldly declared that if he could, he would ban people from adding pineapple as a pizza topping.
Guðni Th. Jóhannesson, President of Iceland, created so much controversy with his comment that he had to backtrack by offering an apology to pineapple lovers and pineapples everywhere.
"I like pineapples, just not on pizza. I do not have the power to make laws which forbid people to put pineapples on their pizza. I am glad that I do not hold such power," Guðni declared on Tuesday.
It was too little, too late. He had already started a war for the ages.
To help you work out which side you stand on in the most divisive argument since duck tape vs. duct tape, we've broken down the pros and cons for you, pizza eater.
Pineapple on pizza PROS
Piling fruit on your pizza will make you feel less guilty about the whole eating pizza thing
You get to enjoy sweet andsavory at the same time
It'll give you an edge
Pineapple also has some nifty health benefits and is a source of vitamin C, manganese and dietary fiber
Pineapple on pizza CONS
Some people will think you're a freaking weirdo #judgment
You'll get pineapple strings stuck in your teeth, which is the worst
Italians will be insulted by your horrid life choice
There's probably a pretty steep extra topping charge nowadays
Extra calories (but then again if you're eating pizza, is this reaaaaally on your mind?)
There are two types of people in this world. Make your choice.
For pineapple on pizza
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...or against pineapple on pizza
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The choice is ultimately yours -- not ours, and certainly not the President of Iceland's either, but if you're ever looking for a pineapple substitute, Guðni has suggested ... seafood. Eeeek.
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