More than any other city on revenge sex videos sent to exEarth, New Yorkers are uniquely adept at complaining -- and putting up with shit.
It's what makes the city great. New Yorkers won't settle for a mediocre piece of pizza, but they'll happily sit on urine-coated subway plastic, just so they don't have to stand. They'll refuse to eat at a chain restaurant, but they'll gladly crowd into an un-air conditioned attic "loft" in Bushwick to have their birth charts read.
When it comes to ranking beaches, no one has sicker, more disturbing standards than New Yorkers. Their rude reviews show them for who they are: masters of the form.
Below are some of the best beach reviews from New Yorkers. Many people don't even know that much of New York City is spread out across islands or that we have *real* ocean beaches that people actually use. Our ocean is relatively clean, considering that 8.6 million people live here. Our beaches, while not trash-free, are at least free to use. You get what you pay for, people.
Here are our greatest reviews:
I 
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable From Turds to Paradise: A New York story
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable For this, five stars
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable No one uses the ocean to "swim."
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable People even have sex here!
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Besides nails, this "place is wonderful."
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Hooters is in the air
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Other than the potential tetanus...
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable "They don't sleep anymore on the beach."
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable There is also...a beach
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Who among us?
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Sewage, Schmewage
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable "I wonder if there was something chemically wrong with the water."
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable "Minus the big ass pipe"
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable New York beaches apparently have too much...sand
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Just don't have expectations!
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable New Yorkers have manners!
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable This is how New York defines a family beach.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Some people get so high and mighty about industrial waste.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable "You can almost imagine being somewhere better"
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable 3 stars for piles of used sanitary products
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable I'm not sure this is better than a fire hydrant, actually.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable
New York, never change...your Yelp reviews.
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