The moaning wife sex videolaunch of any new meat substitute from Impossible Foods is usually a win — for the climate, and for our tastebuds. The Silicon Valley food science company was made famous by its plant-based-but-actually-bleeding burger, which upgraded to its current form and first hit supermarkets in 2019. In 2020 came Impossible pork and sausage; in summer 2021 it was Impossible chicken nuggets. (My review: nice fake forcemeat, shame about the batter.)
Now here come Impossible meatballs, made from a blend of Impossible beef and sausage. You can pick up a pack of 14 at $6.48 exclusively at Walmart, as part of a new dedicated Impossible section next to the red meat products at America's largest retailer. That in itself is a huge win for the company, the summit of its efforts to push its plant-based products out beyond the confines of coastal cities and into the meat-loving heartland.
None of which would matter if the meatballs themselves weren't up to snuff. Luckily, having cooked a pack with my wife, I can report we both found them delicious: just the right consistency, springy and juicy, with a nice rich dose of garlic and spices. The company definitely knows how to work meat-like magic with soy, coconut oil, sunflower oil, and its signature blood-mimicking molecule heme.
Impossible's main rival, Beyond, launched its own meatball product in Costco a year ago; they're also now available in Walmart. Having spent months on an obsessive Impossible burger vs. Beyond burger bake-off, I thought it only fair to give their meatballs some of the same treatment. So we cooked them in exactly the same style — marinated on the stove in Prego garlic and parmesan sauce, served with spaghetti made from cauliflower. (Because when you're trying unusual plant products, you might as well go the whole fake hog.)
With the burgers, I'd preferred the Impossible for its almost-real-beef taste, but also came to enjoy the Beyond burger; the rice protein element in Beyond's recipe (which is based on pea protein) added a tasty, textured crispy edge. That wasn't something we could replicate with the meatballs, however, which may have something to do with our impatience. The Impossible meatballs marinated in 20 minutes, or about five minutes less than the Open Nature angus beef meatballs we also tried in the same sauce.
Beyond recommends 45 minutes for the same process. Who has that kind of time for meatballs? This is your basic hearty winter fare; the key is getting it on the table and into your family's tummies as soon as possible. Still, we both enjoyed the Beyond meatballs more than the beef versions. They just didn't quite rise to the Impossible standard. That heme really is the magic ingredient. (It probably also helps that Impossible's balls are significantly larger; you get three in one 85 grams serving vs. five Beyond meatballs in the same size serving.)
One ingredient that isn't magic in any of these products, however, is the salt content. Beyond's meatballs have 500 milligrams of sodium per serving. Impossible does somewhat better at 400 milligrams sodium per serving. But that's still a lot of salt — more than the beef meatballs, at 350 milligrams — and my wife and I found ourselves surprisingly thirsty after both meals. A month ago, the FDA issued new sodium guidelines for the food industry, designed to slash our daily intake; as vanguards of the brave new plant-based world, Beyond and Impossible both need to take note.
But overall, Impossible is the clear winner. Not only is it tastier than Beyond, it also has half of the saturated fat content. Neither had any trans fats, which were present in the beef meatballs. If you're a meatball fan who's ready to taste our meat-free future, your time has come.
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