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"No, it's a real one."
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So might a conversation go at the Republican convention in Cleveland next week, thanks to a set of rules specifying what is and isn't allowed into a defined "event zone" surrounding the event.
SEE ALSO: Trump taps Tim Tebow to speak at Republican conventionWater pistols, BB guns, pellet guns and paintball guns are on a list of numerous items banned from the area outside the Quicken Loans Arena, along with an arsenal of other hardware including swords, sabers, hatchets, axes, nunchucks, maces, hammers, crowbars and pepper spray.
Also banned: light bulbs, canned goods and tennis balls. And containers of bodily fluid.
Guns? They're permitted, because Ohio is an open-carry state and officials can't stop licensed owners from taking their weapons with them. Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson clarified the position at a press conference Wednesday.
"Our intent is to follow the law. And if the law says you can have open carry, that's what it says. Whether I agree with it or not is another issue," he said.
Here are 70 things specifically prohibited from the area, as well as "any other item determined by the [chief of police] or [director of public safety] to be a clear and present danger to the safety of others."
Lumber larger than 2-inches wide and ¼-inch thick, including supports for signs
Metal, plastic, or other hard material larger than ¾-inch thick and 1/8-inch wide wall thickness including pipe and tubing
Air rifles
Air pistols
Paintball gun
Blasting caps
Switchblades
Automatic knives
Knives with blades two and one-half inches in length or longer
Cestuses (armored gloves)
Billy clubs
Blackjacks
Swords
Sabers
Hatchets
Axes
Slingshots
BB guns
Pellet guns
Wrist shots
Metal knuckles
Nunchucks
Maces
Iron buckle
Axe handles
Shovels
Explosives
Fireworks
Aerosol cans
Pepper spray
Speakers
Drones
Containers of bodily fluids
Umbrellas with metal tips
Water guns
Water cannons
Ropes longer than 6 inches
Chains longer than 6 inches
Strapping longer than 6 inches
Wire longer than 6 inches
Line longer than 6 inches
Tape longer than 6 inches
Glass bottles
Ornaments
Light bulbs
Ceramic vessels
Padlocks
Bicycle locks
Chain locks
Gas masks
Tents
Sleeping bags
Sleeping pads
Mattresses
Cots
Hammocks
Bivy sacks
Stoves
Coolers
Ice chests
Backpacks and bags exceeding the size of 18-inch x 13-inch x 7-inch;
Lasers
Non-plastic containers, bottles, cans or thermoses
Ladders
Grappling hooks
Sledgehammers
Hammers
Crowbars
Canned goods
Tennis balls
Guns are still banned from inside the Quicken Loans Arena, where all the action will happen next week, despite 55,000 people signing a petition demanding the right to carry firearms inside.
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